This is a repost of a blog I wrote on my MySpace during a time under which I was in a semi-constant state of rage and bitterness. It’s necessary and therapeutic to revisit documented revelations to appreciate making it through and realize that wisdom that comes from Him never changes.

i wrote about this in an LJ entry a couple of months ago, and the same idea was mentioned by Joel Osteen in his book “Your Best Life Now” in Chapter 14: The Power in Your Words.

“..We have to be particularly careful about what we say during times of adversity or hardship, when things aren’t going our way. How you respond in the adversities of life and what you say in the midst of your difficulties will have a great impact on how long you stay in those situations. As a rule, the more positive your thoughts and words, the stronger you will be and the sooner you will get over whatever ails you. Admittedly, when times get tough, our human nature tends to want to complain, to talk about the problem, to tell everybody who will listen how badly life is treating us. But such conversations are self-defeating. To get through a tough time quicker and with better results, we must learn to speak as positively as possible.

Too often, we make the mistake of adopting negative attitudes and complaining…when you start talking like that, you become you own worst enemy. If there’s ever a time you must guard what you say, it’s in times of trouble. When you feel overwhelmed, when you’re stressed out, when everything in the world has come against you, when that left-field fence looms largely over your shoulder, that’s when you need to be on high alert. Thats when you are the most vulnerable and the most likely to slip into a negative attitude, speaking negative comments. Your subconscious mind picks up your words, and then sets about trying to fulfill them. When that happens, you have nobody else to blame BUT YOURSELF; you’ve been undermined by your own thoughts and words.”

The last statement in the excerpt above is profound. I will be the first to agree that people are only victims of themselves. Some people go around talking trash about people as if they have some god-given right to, their excuse being that they’re hurt. Before long, everyone knows how hurt you are, but do you feel any better? NO. That’s because there is a thin line between venting to release built up negative energy and venting with the intent of making your sorry self feel better by making that other person look bad.

I have discovered a great deal about myself during this pregnancy. One thing that I really believe God wanted for me was REST. He knows me better than I can ever claim to know myself, and I’m sure He knew that I wouldn’t buckle down unless I absolutely had to. Being pregnant and starting a family begins a completely new season in a person’s life, forcing them to close chapters in their pasts that sometimes would like to remain open.

Being able to step out of oneself and observe my life as an outsider has had its blessings as well as curses. It’s been hard to stay objective–when it’s your own life that you are re-evaluating and re-prioritizing, it’s difficult to leave the emotions out of it. But one thing about GROWING UP is that ability to draw conclusions about a situation without placing blame, without making excuses. Emotions cloud everything. Emotions make you do and say things you normally wouldn’t say things you often regret saying later. Joel talks about how the words we speak take root and ultimately affect our lives overall:

“Words are similar to seeds. By speaking them aloud, they are planted in our subconscious minds, and they take on a life of their own; they take root, grow, and produce fruit of the same kind. If we speak positive words, our lives will move in that direction. Similarly, negative words will produce poor results. We cant speak words of defeat and failure yet expect to live in victory. We will reap exactly what we sow.”

We can’t continue to talk about how hurt we are and expect others to bring us out of our misery. Every day that we cry about our situation is one more day spent focused on the problem and not the solution. We fail to realize sometimes that the ONLY PERSON torturing us is not the person were angry with, but ourselves. Thats the thing about resentment. There is a saying that goes, Resentment is like taking a poison, but waiting for the other person to die. And while youre sulking in self-pity, wishing nothing but misery for the person with whom you are angry, that person has long gotten over what happened, all the while youre still right where you began STILL hurt, STILL talking about it, and STILL angry. Thats what happens when you choose to replay the hurt over and over again. You relive it every time you tell it to someone new. No one but you is keeping you angry. Choose to let go or accept taking your grudges with you to your grave. Life is too short to be anything but appreciative of all the blessings God has given us. So many people live their lives in comparison to what other people have… never fully experiencing the joy and contentment in being happy with what theyve already got. As if there isnt enough goodness to go around, theyve got to claim it first, before anybody else does because quantities of blessings are limited. Ive never seen a bigger lie. And it never ends either. If it isnt a race to the altar, its who has the bigger or better house, the nicer car, the smarter kids, the best career, the happiest marriage the list goes on! A competitive nature is really nothing but a manifestation of self-pity and low self-esteem. People who don’t like who they are determine their worth based on what they possess in comparison to others. They’re never happy for other people’s triumphs and victories because another person’s fortune just becomes their failure to do better. Everything is somehow all about them. And the only way to overcome this kind of mentality is to go straight to the source–it starts with thoughts.

“Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stop living like VICTIMS and start living in VICTORY.